Monday, July 6, 2009

“For weddings and a funeral.” Pt. 1


This week, I have realized how bittersweet it is that I have so many people in my family and that we are so close. The great part, is that we have a bunch of weddings to go to, and babies being born. The bitter is that we also end up attending a lot of funerals.

Steve and I went to a funeral today for my Great Uncle Dick. He was a cool man, very, very sweet and kind hearted, and just a cute old guy. It was incredibly sudden. He was in great health, had survived colon cancer, didn’t have heart problems, and spent time regularly at the yacht club and with his grandkids. Last Saturday, he tripped on a dock and fell into the water. When he got out of the water, he said his stomach felt weird. After heading to the ER, they found out he had a stomach aneurysm, and immediately he underwent emergency surgery, which he came through with flying colors. Tuesday, he had a massive heart attack and never regained consciousness. Thursday morning at 4am he passed away. My Aunt Zoe – his wife – is the cutest little lady, she’s super tiny and super hilarious, and now, super shocked. Their daughter Sharon altered my wedding dress and added the red sash to it. And Sharon’s kids were the two who participated in Beau’s magic show at our wedding to give some of you a little context. The silver lining to the funeral? Steve and I got to see a lot of my family members who will be at the Lester Family reunion we can’t make it to at the end of the month.

In a way, I sometimes feel as if I am a professional at weddings and funerals. In 2005, I went to a funeral every month, March, April, and May. The first was my Uncle Bob who was my dad’s best friend of 35 years, and it was impossible to get through and still gets me teary eyed when thinking about it – including now. April was my Great Uncle Harvey – my dad’s uncle – who was the closest I ever came to knowing my Grandpa DeGroff. Grandpa passed away before Nate was born and my dad always told us that if we wanted to know our Grandpa a little, we should really pay attention to our Uncle Harv. May was my Uncle Jim’s mom. My parents knew her, and Nate and I didn’t really, but mom and I went to support them as they do for us every funeral.

There are some that are impossible to get through – my Grandpa, Uncle Bob, Cousin Jerry – and some that while I loved the relative, I almost feel jaded by all of the funerals I’ve been to and may or may not cry at the actual funeral. And then there are those that we go to in support of the friends and family that have supported us at tough funerals along the way.

I know what is appropriate to wear and what isn’t. I know that I could never walk into a funeral home wearing jeans and flip-flops (though some of my extended, extended family doesn’t…) no matter whom it’s for. I know to always grab a tissue before I sit down in a seat in case my waterworks begin without notice. I know to sign the book, grab the funeral card, and look over all the pictures. I know to stand in line and greet people when it’s a relative very close to me, I know when to go grab water for my friends and relatives who have been greeting people all day and just need a break, and I know when to move along in the greeting line so as not to hold a friend or relative up too long from greeting others.

I know all of the etiquette and protocol for funerals, but I sure wish I could let all my knowledge retire for at least one full calendar year. Nevertheless… I am grateful to have a large family who we are close to.

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